Please Jump Over For the New Year!

Hi friends:
I would like to keep connected to my blog members and friends by having you hop over to my new website. www.awidowspursuit.com

This blog remains helpful to widows that want to see how I managed grief in the first one and a half years of my widowhood. Since completing my book, that's being sold on amazon.com, I've decided to start the New Year with a new website. (Same as the title of my book "A Widow's Pursuit")

I'll be using my new website for posting grief resources and also sharing other widows' pursuits. Each widow's story is very unique with a common thread of grief similarities. Come join me this year on my new adventure and see how others are handling their grief. You will also find out about grief resources that may help you or someone you know in different situations.

Happy New Year...Happier Blog Posts!

As 2012 winds down, I see how my life has been so blessed. With the completion of my book, I can now focus on a different track for my blog posts. My story of grief and beyond is just one story. I'd like to share other widows' stories in the coming year.

I'd also like to share information about grief. Becoming a social worker has made me realize that knowledge is helpful in grief. I plan on posting articles from others that have informative advice or suggestions relating to grief.

Please e-mail me if you would like to share your story or have an article you'd like me to post to share with other widows. cindyspursuits@yahoo.com
Blessings to all for a Happy and Healthy, New Year!!

Book Give Away Winner for 12/21/12....

Peggy Sweeney! Congratulations Peggy!!

I want to thank all my blog members. Thank you!! I'll continue this blog in the New Year. I plan to post grief resources along with widows' personal stories in how they pursued their new goals and dreams. We each have a different and unique story to tell.

When I was a young widow with young children, one of the best things I ever did was to read other widows' personal stories of how they worked through their grief. It felt like they were my tour guide since no one else could understand what I was going through. That is one reason I wrote my book.

For my last book give away for December, become one of my Twitter followers, and tweet or retweet my book link. I'll announce the winner next Saturday, 12/29/12.

Merry Christmas!!

And the winner for this week, 12/14, is.....

Marisol Garza! Congratulations to Marisol who shared with her facebook friends, my book link to amazon.com. and won the first drawing of my December's book give away. Thank you to my other friends, Pat, Celinda, Trish, April, and Carol who also shared my link.


By sharing my story, I hope to help other widows by:

1) Providing them comfort that they are not alone in their grief
2) Giving them insight into their own journeys
3) Shedding light on the stages of grief and what to expect
4) Preparing them for the normal, emotional and physical feelings that others may not understand
5) Encouraging them to find God's guidance in their journeys

Please join my blog and become a member (if you're not already) and you'll be entered in the second drawing this month to win a free signed copy of my book. Drawing will be next Friday, 12/21/12. If for some reason you can't join (technology doesn't always cooperate!), leave me your name and contact info in the comments. 

December Book Give Away

This month I will be giving a book away each week. For this week, please go to my face book page and share my most recent post on your page to be entered in my book give away. The winner will receive a free signed copy of my book. The drawing will be this Friday, 12/14/12.

I don't want to exclude anyone, so if you don't do facebook, please leave your name and contact info as a comment to this blog. Thank you!

When Grief Subsides....What's Beyond?

Grief a major part of a widow/widower's life. Although everyone works through grief in their own way, there are still some similarities. I'd guess the majority of widow/widowers go through various stages of shock, denial, guilt, anger, depression, and hopefully acceptance. But every journey will also be unique.

Once we work through our stages of grief and accept our loss, the grief begins to subside. Then we have to decide what we're going to do with our life. There are endless possibilities of new goals and dreams for our future. Each one of us will have a different story to tell. Some widows remarry within a few years. Some widows are content never to marry again. It is all an individual choice.

I spent 14 years of being a single widow, before I remarried. The first few years I worked through grief and also wanted to help my daughters through grief without adding a stepfather to their lives. I prayed for God's direction and went back to school while I declined a marriage proposal. There were choices I had to make and I chose to follow God's plan for my life. It made living more peaceful and easier.

In my book, A WIDOW"S PURSUIT: Finding Out There's More to Life Than Grief, I wrote about my challenges that I went through in grief and beyond. How I made new future dreams and goals. I share how I conquered many challenges of being an independent and single woman. (When I had no intentions of wanting to be single again!) But once I accepted my fate, I made the best of single life.

Not every widow will experience what I did. But this is my story. A personal memoir of how I pursued my faith to overcome grief and consequences to that decision is where I discovered an amazing life after my loss. I not only found purpose from my loss but I was rewarded with God's blessings and peace in my life. He was able to fulfill and sustain me through some of my darkest moments.

Once my grief subsided, and I began to make new goals, I felt like a butterfly, about to take her first flight. Each widow from this point will have a different story to tell. A different ending and a new beginning. I hope that I can encourage other widows not only by sharing the end of my grief but also by sharing my new beginnings. My book is now available on Amazon.com

A Time to Mourn, a Time to Dance...Be Careful!

My first year of being a widow centered around my grief. It was all about me. Once I figured out I couldn't do it on my own, I surrendered to God to heal my broken heart. Then I mourned. It felt like knives stabbing my chest every night. I now know how a spouse can die from a broken heart. I never felt pain so deep and raw before. But every night, I poured out my grief until I was utterly exhausted and passed out.

I soon felt God's peace filling my emptiness. There was a bit of sadness when I no longer felt the deep pain since the pain made me feel closer to Nelson. But it began to subside in the second year of widowhood as I felt some moments of joy again. I began to make plans for my future after I had grieved for my dreams that were shattered.

As I picked myself up, I signed up for a dance class to add some happiness to my life. The class was a Latin dance class and I loved the music. Once I started going to classes, I also began going out to dance clubs. This felt fun and exciting. I began to realize that this was one way to also get the attention from men that I was craving.

I met a nice guy while I was out dancing one night. Our relationship consisted of phone calls and sporadic nights of dancing. It met my physical needs when we slow danced. Soon he wanted more of a commitment. I ached for the physical touch but wasn't ready for an emotional attachment. I ended our friendship before one of us got hurt. I realized dancing with men could get complicated.

I continued going out dancing at every opportunity. It felt good. Much better than mourning and grieving. Dancing was enough for now. I was able to get the attention from men, but it ended on the dance floor. The music made me feel happy. I began meeting more people and even felt like life was coming back into me.

I reflected that dancing in the nightclubs had some drawbacks. I had to be careful not to find myself in vulnerable situations. I had a way of trusting people. I wanted to believe that men were just at the clubs to dance and have fun like I was. This single life was starting to have some fun moments but at the same time I had to keep my guard up.